WE DID IT

SOOOOO....
Friday's performance at the historic Kimball Theatre was amazing! More than amazing... whether or not we were amazing is a different story. But the experience was insane. First of all, the make up and costumes were incredibly beautiful and timely to get into. Then seeing all of the other groups perform! they were all so talented. Our performance went really well. In fact I can not think of anything we really did poorly or wrong. The lights and audience really just drove our performance. And I can truly appreciate sharing culture with the greater Williamsburg community!!!

That being said... we have to now add the other banjar into our scene because they never finished theirs. Today's class was a little bit un-nerving in that everyone was joking and having fun but no one was serious and I am so proud of my banjar that I want the whole group doing this scene to be great. So Inshallah (God willing) everything will work out and we will put on a good performance for the middle school next week. and then that is the end of my ICAP experience.



It is very cool to think of all of that culture packed into this historic colonial theatre!!

because its beautiful....

quick update for last few weeks.... sorry!

The questions and confusion about music/chants/chas was fully realized by the class recently. I felt like knowing music only hindered my ability to understand or help the class because I am so used to western music and rhythm. But it was very obvious that the class was all on the same page of confusion and frustration with trying to make chants line up, and leaving room for the ever present yet beat-less gong.

AND in greater news. We have a performance!!!! it is set in stone for this Friday, Nov 14th at the Kimball theatre. I am scared of course, but more excited because we are being featured alongside some amazing dance groups. Everything from Irish to Vietmanese to Indian to Hip-Hop will be sharing the night with us!

And from friday on the semester is wrapping up. 19th performace outside somewhere on campus and 24th in class final performance. Open to all from what I understand.

a performance?

In prep for a possible real live performance (at the Kimball!!! ... oh dear)-

As a whole banjar class we are starting to put together scenes. It is interesting, because we get to see our own physical interpretations of the Ramayana scenes, and we then get to see Gurus.

I must be like at least a mile behind the class. I can surrender to the 'chas' or the outer circle chanting, but I do not yet feel that our chanting can change the actions of the performers in the center of the circle.

For now I will have to be content with knowing that if I put effort and rasa into my 'chas' then the performers in the middle will also put effort and rasa into their actions.

It is good for now, but is it good enough to perform for real people... I doubt.

I can Rasa

I just wanted to write a quick note because it has been a while (mostly due to frying my fish of job interviews and fall break!) In regards to my last post I incorporated most of it into a Midterm letter to our Guru.

Today was a great class!!!! I have always been afraid of the acting part of this class, the embodiment of the rasa in addition to movement and steps. BUT Kalyani was great today. Teaching us individual emotions and how to portray them. Then we partnered up and performed to each other; happiness, love, comfort, anger, disgust, worry. This embodiment of emotion and internal dialog really brought back a lot of my high school acting memories! It was so nice, plus I felt as if my partner (just met, Eric) and I really did a great job. A key to doing well and truly feeling the emotion is definently having someone there who is just as into it and serious as you are. I think we really played off of each others emotions and rasas!

Then I got to be part of the scene of Dasaratha's death. I had yet to play a role in our banjar scenes so it was exciting and I really enjoyed it! Which is a shock to me because I always was scared or embarrassed to do it, but when I did it- I loved it! My goal had originally been to support the group musically BUT hay, I have a new passion!!!

...but I always get lost when Guru gets a little deeper about meaning...

Great class. I no longer neep my nap!

Oh My...

Today was simultaneously the BEST and WORST class ever. I am blogging not 3 min after getting home in order to help sort out my thoughts- and there are many.

We started off with a Rama circle, in which I gathered that we were supposed to improve the story of Ramayana, but since I missed last class I did not what to do. And no one stepped in - this led to a LONG conversation about where we are now and what we want and what is bothering us. And things were said and somehow I ended up speaking. Essentially this is what I said:
-this class is hard because we are supposed to be a community SO extremely different from anything we are used to
-how am I supposed to want to be part of this all sharing all helping all understanding community when I know that I will leave class and enter 'the real world' or the world that we (as college ages Americans) know it
-this community is such a small percent of my life, how do I change for it
-I do not know how to do well in this community because there is no standard, no specific steps or goals, and of course I want to do well (not to be the best or close but for my own value of success)
No one said anything after I spoke, so needless to say, I felt horrible and seriously wondered about this community.

I question how I am supposed to be part of this community of 30+ people that I don't know at all. I question the beliefs and spirituality that I think the guru is asking us for. Maybe I am cynical, but I do not have a belief in this higher spirit. I can learn and study and appreciate the cultural studies of this class and I can do the movements and learn the dances, but I do not and don't think I will ever have that higher understanding. AND if that is the case... I am the roadblock for our class, I am what will hinder us moving on.

AFTER ALL OF THIS....
during our ten min break both Sarah and Kalyani (sp?) spoke to me, both agreeing with what I said, letting me know that I was not alone. THANK YOU! ha, it made me feel so much better for not being alone and feel better about the community. It also led me to believe I am not the only roadblock bc other people feel the way I feel.

Then we had a massive monkey begging fight and all the tension was gone form the room and we were just a group again.

I dont know what to feel! Mostly I am upset.

... time to get deep....

Many questions were posed to us this week and in an attempt to discover more meaning to our daily rituals I will answer one now.

Q: How can we as a community, in this class, benefit from Banjar?

The Banjar is in its most basic of definitions defined as a village council; the community extension of the house that governs most aspects of personal and private, individual and communal village issues. While there is a 'subscription' payment to join the banjar, it is mandatory for all males to represent their family within it. It plays the functions of -town council -tribunal -department of public works -welfare council - environment and sanitation control -social outlet -youth mentor ship. They own their own fields and therefore its crops, has an orchestra and dance team, bank and runs the temples, markets, roads and houses (plus much more).

A: Each of us walks into class every Monday and Wednesday as a tired individual coming off of a personal day- but we walk into a group and become a community. Everything that each individual has experienced that day or week affects them personally but they way they feel personally affects the group. In ICAP we wait for everyone so that everyone is on the same page and no one feels pressured to move on to the next step if they are not comfortable with it. Therefore when someone walks into our 'banjar,' they bring their attitude, stress, and experiences with them; so we all affect each other. In this class we are encouraged to share both how we are feeling, our experiences and our insights with the banjar, which not only brings us closer but allows us to support everyone. Considering that banjar helps the community with whatever they are going through- we can do the same by providing support, understanding, justice... whatever it may be. I feel that in a way we all have to 'surrender' (which has been a recent key point in class) to the banjar in order to benefit from it. We are all learning to surrender to the banjar and share ourselves with the other community members- this can only benefit us as a group. We will grow closer, read each other and be able to perform or feel our dancing as a group and not as an individual. I have no experienced it yet but can only imagine how it will feel the first time we dance, walk, chant, or sing and are one and not individuals.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DexAx3D9BAo
This is a clip of a Beautiful Balinese Banjar- the actually place of community not necessarily the community itself BUT while looking at the images you can only imagine the purity of the community events and gatherings that happen there!!!